Carl Roberts 
“Pinocchio Unstrung may not have any strings to hold it down, but it does make for an entertaining, if brutal, and gory night at the cinema.”
“I’ve got no strings to hold me down!” After this film, you’ll be wishing he did! From the minds behind Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood And Honey comes Pinocchio: Unstrung. The film is a part of the Twisted Childhood Universe films. And boy, does it show. Forget the classic animated and family-friendly movies you’ve seen with the little wooden puppet who wants to become a real boy, this is certainly not those! Instead of being ashamed that his nose grows when he lies, this one kills you with it with glee. Featuring the legendary Richard Brake as Geppetto, this is yet another childhood favorite story that is re-imagined as a blood-soaked, violent, and gory piece of entertainment. And yet, it is actually enjoyable.
THE PREMISE
The latest addition to the Twisted Childhood Universe films (Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey), Pinocchio: Unstrung. Geppetto (Richard Brake) introduces his grandson, James, to a magical doll called Pinocchio. Unaware of his naïve nature, James introduces his new friend to the world, leading the doll to embark on a crusade to eliminate all that is bad under the sinister Cricket’s (Robert Englund) guidance.
THOUGHTS
Anyone looking for high art, forget it. Anybody wanting to see a film that won’t offend, stay away. If you’re in the mood for something schmaltzy, kind, good-humored, and gentle, go see Toy Story or Moana, because this ain’t it. With the track record the Twisted Childhood Universe has, you’d think this is just another in a line of bad horror movies that destroy our childhood favorite characters. The two Winnie the Pooh: Blood And Honey movies are, let’s be honest, just terrible. Going into Pinocchio Unstrung, you’d think you’re in for more of the same. You are, but not in the way you’d expect.
The film, although it will never feature highly on too many people’s lists of good horror movies, is actually enjoyable in a perverse, twisted way. So much so that Pinocchio himself, for the most part, an evil serial killing piece of carved wood, actually charms us and, at times, has us feeling sorry for him. He comes across as an innocent child. He is one who is trying to make friends and to find his place in the human world. And we pity him. We find ourselves, inexplicably, rooting for the little guy, despite what horrors he unleashes in the film. It is this that shocks and surprises us the most. Although there are plenty of jump scares, we find ourselves held captive by Pinocchio and his child-like demeanor. And the scenes he shares with young Cameron Bell as James are touching.
TWO ACES IN THE HOLE
The film has an advantage by having two aces in the hole: Richard Brake and Robert Englund. Richard Brake is his usual self as Geppetto; he looks nasty and menacing at times (which, in reality, Richard Brake isn’t; he is, in fact, a kind, gentle, and friendly man who enjoys chatting to his fans, something totally different from what we see him play on a regular basis). Here, though, the actor holds it down somewhat. He actually comes across as a thoughtful, loving, doting grandfather. His only desire is to make his grandson happy and smile again by creating a friend for him. Or is he? Is there something sinister hiding behind his facade? Is he really as kind and gentle as he appears to be? Brake gives us yet another enjoyable performance to add to his growing collection.
Although we don’t see Robert Englund on screen, we hear his voice, giving the cricket a sinister tone, not unlike Freddy Krueger at times. Of course, being played by the same man always helps, but Englund is a master of it. His tones have us on edge throughout. His witty quips play into the actor’s repertoire perfectly. They have us believe this is the insect version of Freddy. To have the legendary actor on vocal duties here gives the film a strength it possibly doesn’t deserve. But it grasps with both hands regardless. By the time the end credits begin to roll, we find ourselves hoping, if there is a sequel (who am I kidding, there’s ALWAYS a sequel), that the actor is asked to reprise his voice role once again.
VERDICT
Pinocchio Unstrung may not have any strings to hold it down, but it does make for an entertaining, if brutal, and gory night at the cinema. I mean, come on. When a horror movie breaks the cardinal rule and brutally and bloodily kills off a child onscreen, you know what kind of territory you’re in. Watching people of varying ages get bumped off in disgustingly nasty and gory ways is actually something we’ve come to expect from films of this kind. We are not let down here. Strong stomachs are required for some of the gore, and those with a nervous disposition over anything to do with eyes should steer well clear. Those who are not need to make sure they don’t eat anything before seeing the film. Hint: you’re likely to see it again before the end.
The film is enjoyable enough to become one of those late-night guilty pleasure films that we stick on after dark, and just sit back and have fun with. A rather large step up from Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood And Honey’s 1 & 2, the film, at a brisk 82 minutes, does what it needs to; it has us heaving, laughing, sad, and hopeful, and feeling guilty for doing so at every turn. It certainly won’t win any awards or be on critics’ lists of one of the best films of the year, but it will send the audience home with great feelings. What those feelings are depends on your tolerance for nasty, gory, and downright bloodthirsty shenanigans featuring our favorite wooden puppet. And Pinocchio is a fully practical animatronic creation.
THERE ARE NO STRINGS ON HIM!
Some may go home with a smile, some may go home with a frown, and some may just go home to feel better afterward. But at the end of the day, Pinocchio Unstrung is a slight but enjoyable date-night movie for all horror fans. Fun but gross, funny but sad, nasty but touching. It’s true; There are no strings on him!
Pinocchio Unstrung will be in cinemas from Friday, courtesy of Altitude and ITN Distribution.
Introducing Carl! As the News Editor at Future of the Force, Carl has been an invaluable member of our team since early 2016. His expertise and dedication have made him an integral part of our editorial staff. Beyond his professional role, Carl is a fervent supporter of Liverpool F.C. and an avid follower of pop culture. He has a deep passion for Halloween, Friday the 13th, and the iconic movie franchises Star Wars and Star Trek.
He can be found either at his neighborhood cinema, enjoying the latest releases on the big screen, or at home streaming the newest blockbuster movies.
