January 28, 2023

It’s time to celebrate the special Wookiee holiday Life Day! Darth Elvis has been taken prisoner by the Rebellion and while imprisoned was shown The Star Wars Holiday Special

Can you smell that? Snnnniiiiffffff! Can you smell it? That my friends is the magical smell of Bantha Surprise and can mean only one thing. Don your finest red robe and prepare to celebrate the magic that is The Star Wars Holiday Special! HOT DANG!

The first time we see Kashyyyk on screen

Han and Chewie are on-board the Falcon, battling their way through Imperial ships to race Chewbacca home to his family on Kashyyyk in order to celebrate Life Day. When they manage to jump to lightspeed, we are introduced to some incredible opening credits introducing the stars of A New Hope, special guest stars and Chewbacca’s family: his wife Malla, dad Itchy and son Lumpy.

Lumpy (Chewie’s son)

Lumpy is a slacker! He’s doing all he can to get out of his chores, taking advantage of his poor mum while his dad is out saving the Galaxy. If I was Lumpy I’d be getting my chores done as soon as possible so I could hide in my room to avoid the frankly terrifying Itchy (a cross between the creature in Big Trouble in Little China and Grandpa from Texas Chainsaw Massacre).

Itchy = Nightmare fuel

The show features a number of special guest performances; trippy dancers on what looks like a Holochess table, Diahann Caroll teasing poor Itchy (apparently he’s adorable), who is sat under a 1970’s salon hairdryer and Jefferson Starship singing “Light the Sky on Fire” which was released as a 7″ single. The Dark King of the Sith must be hungry as the singer looks like he’s singing into a corn dog covered in candy floss.

Luke and R2-D2 fixing an engine

Malla is panicking as Chewbacca never misses a Life Day and is still not home. She calls up Luke for some reassurance, but Luke and R2 fail to calm the poor Wookiee, who retires to her kitchen to cook up something extra special for the big celebration: BANTHA SURPRISE! If you’ve never had the pleasure of tasting Bantha Surprise, plot a course to Tatooine and get yourself a bowl of this local speciality. HOT DANG TASTY!!!

Malla and Lumpy in the kitchen

Soon after the Bantha is in the oven, Malla calls Princess Leia and C3PO to see if they know where Chewie is. The Princess has no idea where Chewbacca is and again fails miserably to console poor Malla. Like Malla (and most of the audience) “I want Chewbacca!

Back with another of those Carbonite block rocking beats!

The Empire comes a-knocking with Suspicious Minds looking for the missing Rebels and question the family. Clearly they aren’t fans of Banthas, as they rip the head off poor Lumpy’s soft toy. Perhaps they should have tried the Bantha Surprise!

Animated Boba Fett in first appearance

Now the show takes an interesting turn when we get to meet Boba Fett for the first time on his sweet pink ride in the animated segment of the show. The debut appearance of “the best bounty hunter in the galaxy” is an excellent break from the madness that has come thus far. Boba has been hired by the main man Darth Vader to find the secret location of the Rebels. This version of Boba Fett looks incredible and has been immortalised in a number of ways from Gentle Giant statues to the forthcoming Hot “Dang” Toy due for release in 2018.

Why the long face Han?

As we near the end of the show we get a glimpse of “Life on Tatooine,” which includes a blink and you’ll miss it scene cut from A New Hope sometimes known as “the stilt monster.” Ackmena is the bartender in Chalmun’s Cantina, played by Golden Girl Bea Arthur who is now official Star Wars canon thanks to a short story in “From a Certain Point of View” and one of the few LGBTQ characters in a Galaxy far, far away. Not only does this scene give us more of the frankly awesome Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes, but we get a closer look at some of the creatures from the Cantina scene in A New Hope including Snaggletooth, Hammerhead and Muftak, who looks totally hammered.

Blanche, Rose, Sophia and Dorothy never looked better!

“Good Night, But Not Goodbye,” Bea sings to the patrons of the Cantina as she ushers them out the door with the help of a bouncer Tork, who is awful pasty for a guy who lives on a planet with two suns. What would have made this scene complete for me would have been the appearance of Blanche, Sophia and Rose arguing over the guy who drinks through a hole in his head with the cantina band playing “Thank you for being a friend!”

Here’s Daddy!!!! Chewie’s home and the remaining Stormtrooper guarding the house goes bye bye, breaking through a railing outside the home, followed by the sound of the famous Wilhelm scream. Now that the family are back together they can finally celebrate Life Day!

The family get their robes on and head down to the tree of life. “The Wookiee in red, is dancing with me, cheek to cheek.” The gang all together on screen for the first time since Cheewie lost out on a medal and he looks ready to rip the arms off 3PO. Thankfully, Leia sings, defusing the situation and Life Day ends on a high or is that just me?

The gang back together at the Tree of Life.

I may be alone in wanting to see The Star Wars Holiday Special released officially, but it’s a part of Star Wars history and needs preserved for future generations. And who doesn’t want to see Itchy in High Definition. I’m hoping we get to see Chewie’s family in Solo: A Star Wars Story with Lumpy saving the day.

Hang Loose one and all and to all a happy Life Day!


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