No, Godzilla Is Not King of the Monsters!
I went and saw Godzilla five years ago. Long story short; I didn’t like it at. All.
Jump five years later. You would think I had learned my lesson. I didn’t.
This past weekend I went to see Godzilla: King of the Monsters for one reason and one reason only; the special IMAX sneak-peeks I kept seeing of the movie. The film, in those sneak-peeks, looked AMAZING as King Ghidorah destroyed stuff, shot lightning from its three maws and vaporized soldiers. I saw the rotten 40% score on Rotten Tomatoes and ignored it. There was no way the movie was that bad. Especially considering the Audience Score was 88%.
As I struggled through the two-plus hour movie I realized the critics were right. Godzilla: King of the Monsters was crap. Don’t get me wrong, the action scenes were outstanding, especially in the jaw-dropping format of IMAX, but once again the humans ruined the experience.
The writers decided to try to make a heartfelt story surrounding what is, in essence, a monster movie. It’s literally in the title; King of the Monsters! This movie shouldn’t be about the human characters. You can provide us with a bit of storyline to understand what the heck is going on and then you stop it there. Let us embark on a wild ride full of monsters destroying cities, annihilating anything that stands in their path, and fighting one another to the death until the point we’re shaken to the core with awe-induced wonder as we’re leaving our local movie theater.
The writers decided to wrap the monsters around the humans who we did not care about. Even if the movie had cast Brad Pitt as the dad and Cate Blanchett as the mother, which would immediately add extra star power and depth to the film, it would’ve still been terrible. The script was clunky and SUPER cliché, nearly every character in the film miraculously survived…multiple times, the characters were standing mere feet beneath the monsters as they destroyed everything around them. I mean, it was ridiculous with a capital R.
I was trying to ignore the annoying humans and focus on the incredible monster action but every time I seemed to get a breather the humans stuck their noses right back into the fray. Ugh, why do these humans always ruin these types of movies? It’s the curse that has plagued the Jurassic Park and the Transformers franchise. It’s like the writers don’t get it…and I don’t think they ever will.
I wish I could say I can’t wait to see Godzilla vs. King Kong next year but after that too-loud and way-too-overwhelmingly-lackluster fiasco I just experienced, I’m by no means excited to see that movie. In fact, I think it’s going to be another waste of people’s precious time, which is ultimately a shame.
This movie gets a B- from me. I would place it lower if those action scenes hadn’t been so downright remarkable. It’s a shame.
The Future of the Force. The future of pop culture writing.