Star Wars Insider Review | No Such Thing as a Bad Customer

Max checks out the latest short story featured on the pages of Star Wars Insider Magazine – proving there is “No Such Thing as a Bad Customer”

Star Wars Insider 217 hit bookshelves on March 14, 2023, and gave us a short story that made me think twice about how war is conducted. I will spare the revelation of the ending of Star Wars: The High Republic – The Battle of Jedha. But I will divulge for all those who have not read it yet, that this story takes place towards the end of the novel from the point of view of two barflies that have featured in many of the Tales of Enlightenment. Moona a Twi’lek female and Piralli a Sullustan male who works on the docks of Jedha. The two are regulars at the Enlightenment tap bar and have a cute love-hate dynamic amongst them and both care very much for the human Keth who works as a temple worker.

Oga’s Cantina at Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge Star Wars Insider


Moona is waiting for her date. And the date is a female which is not a surprise (nor an objection on my part!). But I find it interesting that so many new mythological characters are LGBTQ+. I feel it gets a little excessive sometimes, but I support gay rights and do not have any main objections to it. Anyway, a human comes to the bar and his name is Paternock. Paternock (like the majority of the galaxy) needs a drink and has a story to tell. He is here for the peace treaty delegation between the warring double planets of Eiram and E’ronoh. Paternock is Eiram and talks about how it is very hard for him and his people to bury the hatchet with their neighbor. They have lost so many loved ones in this five-year war, and he just doesn’t think that he can ever forgive the enemy. He wants peace but he’s also angry and it’s understandable. Then if on queue, an E’ronoh soldier walks into the bar and no this isn’t the setup for a bad joke. Its Star Wars


The woman’s name is Kimbral and she has suffered and lost much in this war as well. Including one of her arms. When Paternock sees her, his instinct flairs up and he reaches for his blaster. Luckily, the colorful owner of the bar, swipes the blaster out of his hand, firmly saying that all beings are welcome in Enlightenment. I very much like Kradon. He is cheap but funny and is an insectoid being who always refers to himself in the third person.

Star Wars Insider


The story is NOT long and ends before you can settle in. But when the two war-torn soldiers accuse one another of perpetuating the violence of the war, it reminds readers that often (even in the real world), there is no true winner in war because both sides lose much. And this perpetual five-year stalemate is a great metaphor for the unnecessary quicksand that is a war with no cause. It’s gone on for so long and they scarcely remember why they hate each other so much. The two soldiers try to reconcile their opinions and both reveal who they have lost but it proves to be in vain as the events of the book flare up and all ideas of peace have gone up in smoke. Perhaps one-day Paternock will kill Kimbral or vice-versa and their “cease-fire” and “reconciliation” in the bar will vanish into non-memory. It’s quite a sad effect but it is very bracingly realistic. There is no winner in war. Just someone who loses a little bit more.

Join me for the conclusion review in Insider 218 which arrives May 2, 2023. Star Wars Insider is published by Titan Magazines. Subscribe today!


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